[A few tears leak out, but it's to be expected when it's been welling up in his eyes for so long. Mikleo looks away, though he turns his face a little more into one of Sorey's hands. He doesn't speak at all as his best friend talks. All he does is try to move closer, like he's desperate for every scrap of warmth and comfort he can get.]
I...but I should've trusted you.
[That's his biggest problem. He trusts Sorey so much, and yet he can't seem to extend that to his scars. Mikleo hates it, especially since his best friend has done nothing to warrant that distrust.
But that's not all that's bothering him. Now that he's said that, everything else just comes tumbling out of his mouth.]
One of those videos said for everyone to hear how much I hate my looks and how I yelled at you about my scars. And another one said just as loudly how I used to not be able to look at a damn candle without shaking, and that I'm still not over that fear.
[Tears gather in his eyes again and all he feels is loathing for himself, as well as a choking sorrow. Mikleo buries his face in Sorey's shirt, sniffing and his shoulders shaking from holding back sobs.]
[Sorey feels those tears hot on his hand and he's suddenly very, very glad that he came home early rather than staying another hour or two to grade papers.]
We were kids.
[Using the hand that Mikleo isn't leaning into, Sorey lets Mikleo's hair down, and then he draws his hands through it. This never fails to help calm Sorey down, so he figures Mikleo will like it, too. It's obviously needed when all of those secrets come tumbling out.]
Mikleo...
[He lets Mikleo have him, then. He can cry all over Sorey's clothes, that's just fine. If he had the opportunity to trade his secrets and embarrassments for Mikleo's, he absolutely would. Mikleo deserves the chance to live a better life without the kind of worries he's carried silently for so long. He deserves the world.]
I'm sorry. I should've been there. I should've... stopped you from going back outside, after everything.
[His hand continues threading through loose brown hair while the other keeps Mikleo as close as he can.]
I know I'm late, but I'm here now. I'm here, and I won't let anyone hold those things against you.
[Sorey's right. They were kids, but it doesn't stop Mikleo's heart from breaking every time it pops into his mind late at night.
His hair being let down and feeling his best friend run his fingers in it does help steady his breathing a bit. It helps, despite the soft, broken whimper. Mikleo clings a little more tightly to Sorey, shaking his head.]
I shouldn't have looked at my phone until I got home. [He stutters a little shakily through his words, but he pushes on.] I should've done what Minako suggested and called you.
[Mikleo thought he'd be fine enough to get home on his own. Only now does it sink in that his dazed state might've been a danger to him. He takes a shaky breath.]
[He's quiet for a little while, letting Mikleo cling and cry it out. Mikleo had done the same for him countless times-- most recently when his jiji died-- so of course he doesn't hesitate. It also feels ridiculously nice to pet Mikleo's hair, but that's neither here nor there.]
Don't ever feel like you're bothering me, because you're not. If anything, I'm the one who's always bugging you.
[The last part is a light tease. Mikleo acts like Sorey can be such a pain in the ass sometimes, but that's just part of how they are. They tease, but when it comes down to it, they're always there for each other.
He tucks a bit of brown hair behind Mikleo's ear, first one and then the other.]
I promised, didn't I?
[He leaves a kiss on the top of his head, unabashedly tender. At this point he just doesn't care what it looks like. He loves Mikleo and he's not ashamed of it.]
[God, he doesn't deserve Sorey at all, but he's still so grateful that he's here and chooses to be here for his mess of a best friend. It makes his heart ache painfully, and yet it also fills it with joy, even now. That feeling is enough to start burning away some of the heaviness threatening to suffocate him. It's enough....
Mikleo's silent for a few minutes, just trying to remember how to breathe and waiting for the tears to be done. Finally, he wipes his eyes. He looks up at Sorey, his eyes red and puffy from crying. The brunet tries to look annoyed, but he just looks tired. Sorey's gentle kiss has broken a dam in him and he's just. He's tired of pretending that he doesn't notice, tiptoeing around the issue. He's tired of waiting for Sorey to make the first move.
He's so tired....]
So, I have to cry and bare my soul out to you in order to get you to kiss me?
[The brunet still sounds bad, but his voice is stronger, now.]
[Sorey isn't quite expecting Mikleo to turn on him like that. Honestly, he didn't even think he'd notice lips in his hair, but there it is. His eyes widen and he gives a little gasp, but actual words are lost on him for a minute. His hands still against Mikleo's back.]
Th... that's not...
[He feels overwhelmingly like he fucked up just now, which... doesn't help anything at all. He tries to smush that feeling down. Unfortunately, it still comes out in a little bit of a stutter.]
I didn't want to make things harder for you, so I-I just--
[Boy oh boy, he wishes he could be the one shrinking under the desk right now.]
[Mikleo has a sudden desire to just scream. Somehow, he manages to resist. Sorey is literally his own worst enemy when it comes to this.
He shifts in his best friend's hold so that he's sitting straighter. The brunet sits on Sorey's lap and his hands firmly grip his broad shoulders. Mikleo looks less tired, now, as he meets emerald eyes. He just looks annoyed and like the spark is coming back to him.]
Do I really need to spell it out more than I already have?
[The answer is yes, but he wants to give Sorey more credit than that.]
[Sorey swallows hard as he finds himself being straddled on the floor. No, Mikleo doesn't need to spell it out. He's all but wrapped around Sorey and he knows his face is red simply because of the way Mikleo is looking at him.]
Uh-- m-message received, loud and clear!
[His friend looks annoyed, but at least he doesn't look like he's broken into pieces anymore. This is far more welcome though it intimidates Sorey for an entirely different reason. Part of him wants to cut and run, but he's sort of... stuck in the same house? That's not going to work. And it won't help anything.
Maybe Sorey needs to go and scream into his pillow for a while.
His fingers tremble faintly as he lifts them to Mikleo's face, just as gentle as before, slipping them beneath lovely waves of hair. Nervous as he is, Sorey still finds a smile.]
Sorry for always being late, [he murmurs. He doesn't put it off any more after that. He leans in to accept this ridiculously-timed culmination of years of pining. His heart flutters in his throat as he teases their lips together, soft and hesitant.]
[Honestly, now that Sorey's gotten it, Mikleo feels his annoyance shift to nervousness as well. The smile sets him at ease, though it doesn't dispel the butterflies in his stomach.
He almost retorts, but his friend beats him to the punch by kissing him. It's sweet despite its hesitancy, and it makes the butterflies go crazy. Still, Mikleo doesn't let that stop him from wanting to make sure that Sorey knows, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that he does want this. He presses his lips to his friend's a little more firmly. His arms loop loosely around his neck, fingers absently playing with the ends of chestnut brown hair.
After a moment, Mikleo pulls away a little. His eyes flutter open to look at Sorey's face, studying his expression. Doubt creeps into his heart. Maybe he'd chosen the wrong time or he'd overstepped and gone too fast.]
More like I got tired of waiting. [His words are a soft whisper. He sighs, resting his forehead against Sorey's.] But I can wait longer if you're not ready.
[God knows Mikleo isn't ready for certain aspects of their relationship, but they can work up to that. To him, at least, it's worth trying.]
[Honestly, their first kiss is a lot better than anything else he'd conjured. He'd thought about it, sure, but only to the point where he got really embarrassed and had to distract himself. Kissing Mikleo is a goddamn dream come true. It's not perfect, but it's perfect for them; it feels like the last piece of his life is sliding into place, even though there are so many other things wrong with the outside world.
When Mikleo pulls back, Sorey's still under the influence. His eyelids feel heavy, but his heart is leaping inside his chest. He's sure Mikleo can feel it, if not hear the damn thing.]
Oh... wow.
[He needs to just breathe for a moment.]
N-- no, I'm fine if you are. [He still can't believe this is happening.] Besides, holding you is nice. [He doesn't want to stop. Not that anything needs their immediate attention, but still.]
I am. [He's never felt more confident than in that. Yet, the brunet glances away as he quietly admits:] I'd...like you to keep holding me, but maybe somewhere more comfortable?
[When Mikleo looks back, it's with a trace of his old dry amusement.]
The floor isn't exactly the best for long periods of time.
[He lets out a breath, still nervous, but Mikleo's quiet admission actually gets him to chuckle.] Yeah, you're right. [That means he has to extricate his fingers from that lovely hair, and that's a damn shame, but it's only temporary at least.]
There's the couch or the bed. I think... after the day you've had, a nap might help.
[Mikleo hesitates for a moment to think about the choices.]
The couch will be best, I think. I still have to make dinner for us.
[In a small burst of confidence and a need to let Sorey know that it's real and not a dream, he kisses him briefly again. Then, he stands up and offers a hand to his partner-in-crime. A small, soft, grateful smile lifts his lips.]
Just try not to fall asleep with me or we probably won't wake up until tomorrow morning.
[Sorey is taken quite off guard by the sudden kiss, but he soon recovers his wits and gets up, happy to take Mikleo's hand. He's also happy to not give it back. He's practically glowing as he stands there, lightly swaying their joined hands.]
We can order something. You don't have to make dinner every night.
[Sorey leads him to the couch and tugs him down so they can sit together. It's a nice big couch, and he's never been more thankful for it than right now.]
What do you feel like?
[If Mikleo says 'a gallon of ice cream' he will not begrudge him at all.]
[He lets himself get tugged down next to Sorey, casually curling up against his side. Well, as casually as he can, really.]
Anything that doesn't require too much effort, to be honest.
[Mikleo might've said more, but he tenses. His eyes go unfocused for a moment as he's hit with a sudden flashback.
They're outside a village, late at night. Sorey seems to be leaving for some reason, but Mikleo approaches him and it startles the brunet. The whole conversation, Mikleo sounds rather flippant and ready to head out to save someone from assassins. Then, Sorey cuts him off, telling him with boundless joy and relief that he's glad that Mikleo's coming with him. He feels embarrassment as he tries to deflect it, retorting with the fact that Sorey is far too naive and trusting to go out into the human world on his own.
The brunet shakes his head, coming out of it. His heart's pounding in his chest. This...this one confirms that Sorey's...past life, he guesses, is spent living with people who aren't human. He, himself, though...he's not human. A 'seraph,' he thinks, but Sorey never mentioned wings. So...maybe not Abrahamic?
Mikleo covers his eyes. This is starting to give him a headache on top of the one he's gotten from crying.]
Sorey. Do you mind getting me some water? I...had another flashback. My third one, I think.
[Mikleo tenses suddenly, and Sorey feels it. He holds his best friend carefully, concern painting his features paler than usual.]
Mikleo? What's wrong?
[Then he's moving again, and he's fine, except-- another flashback. Sorey gently pries himself away from Mikleo's side so he can get up.]
Y-- yeah! Hold on. [Then he's sprinting into the kitchen to fill up a glass of filtered water. He brings it back in a tall mug so that it's easy to hold. And look, he even has some aspirin.] Here, take a couple of these.
[He settles in beside Mikleo again, and carefully draws his fingers through his friend's hair in a vague attempt at making him feel better.]
[He manages a real smile at the offering of aspirin and says a quiet thanks. Mikleo doesn't answer until he's taken the medicine and drained the water. The brunet leans against Sorey, frowning at his mug.]
Yeah...but from a time or place that's both familiar and unfamiliar. It's almost like a past life. If that's the case....
[Mikleo sighs, reaching across his best friend to set the mug on the end table.]
...I don't think I was human. You were, but I was...something else.
[He thinks of the hand clasp he'd remembered, of the boy with Mikleo's eyes. That had definitely been Mikleo. The brief glance he'd had... was definitely some kind of ethereal beauty. It doesn't surprise him to hear that Mikleo wasn't human there, but what else could he be?
He continues drawing his hands through Mikleo's hair. Even if they hadn't kissed earlier, he probably would be doing it anyway.]
You looked human to me. I mean, aside from the hair... but I liked that a lot.
[It does sound like something Sorey would say, and Mikleo too. He's quiet for a while as he thinks on it. It seems to be around the same time as the brief memory he'd gained before, but he can't be sure. It wasn't like he had the chance to look around or something.]
You're always teasing me about how gullible I am. It sounds like that really is us.
[It feels so real. But, truth be told, this life feels real too.
He lets Mikleo hold his hand, happy to have that, honestly a little surprised that his friend returned the kiss in the first place. Even after speaking with Minako... Sorey doesn't feel like he deserves anyone at all, let alone someone like Mikleo. He's just... so depressingly uncool, so average... and Mikleo is gorgeous, devoted, talented...
He sighs into those chestnut waves, leaves more soft kisses in their depths like secrets.]
But then... who was in that village? Why were we leaving? If we lived there, it must've been something really important.
Yeah...although, I feel like I'm a little younger. You look it, too. Like you're in your late teens or something.
[It's disturbing to think about how real those memories are. Sorey's presence helps him a lot, though. He manages to soothe Mikleo's worries, make them feel more manageable, just by being here and giving gentle affection. It brings a small, soft smile to his face.]
I don't know about that first question, but I do know that we left because...some friend was in trouble. Her life was at risk.
Hey, I'm only twenty. It's not like late teens was too long ago. [Last year, even. But he gets what Mikleo is saying.] I can't imagine running out on my mom, though. I mean-- not for long.
[It hasn't occurred to him that maybe he doesn't have a mom.]
Huh... I hope we were able to help her, then. [He's not sure how he feels about both of them apparently skipping town to become heroes. Sorey doesn't really think he's capable of that sort of thing. He's a history teacher, not a video game protagonist.]
That's because you're on the border of good son and mama's boy.
[He's quiet for some time, still tracing patterns on top of Sorey's hand. Eventually, he laces his fingers in between his best friend's, continuing the patterns.]
We're missing too much information. And my biggest question is why are we remembering a life we used to have?
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I...but I should've trusted you.
[That's his biggest problem. He trusts Sorey so much, and yet he can't seem to extend that to his scars. Mikleo hates it, especially since his best friend has done nothing to warrant that distrust.
But that's not all that's bothering him. Now that he's said that, everything else just comes tumbling out of his mouth.]
One of those videos said for everyone to hear how much I hate my looks and how I yelled at you about my scars. And another one said just as loudly how I used to not be able to look at a damn candle without shaking, and that I'm still not over that fear.
[Tears gather in his eyes again and all he feels is loathing for himself, as well as a choking sorrow. Mikleo buries his face in Sorey's shirt, sniffing and his shoulders shaking from holding back sobs.]
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We were kids.
[Using the hand that Mikleo isn't leaning into, Sorey lets Mikleo's hair down, and then he draws his hands through it. This never fails to help calm Sorey down, so he figures Mikleo will like it, too. It's obviously needed when all of those secrets come tumbling out.]
Mikleo...
[He lets Mikleo have him, then. He can cry all over Sorey's clothes, that's just fine. If he had the opportunity to trade his secrets and embarrassments for Mikleo's, he absolutely would. Mikleo deserves the chance to live a better life without the kind of worries he's carried silently for so long. He deserves the world.]
I'm sorry. I should've been there. I should've... stopped you from going back outside, after everything.
[His hand continues threading through loose brown hair while the other keeps Mikleo as close as he can.]
I know I'm late, but I'm here now. I'm here, and I won't let anyone hold those things against you.
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His hair being let down and feeling his best friend run his fingers in it does help steady his breathing a bit. It helps, despite the soft, broken whimper. Mikleo clings a little more tightly to Sorey, shaking his head.]
I shouldn't have looked at my phone until I got home. [He stutters a little shakily through his words, but he pushes on.] I should've done what Minako suggested and called you.
[Mikleo thought he'd be fine enough to get home on his own. Only now does it sink in that his dazed state might've been a danger to him. He takes a shaky breath.]
I'm...I'm glad you're here, now.
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Don't ever feel like you're bothering me, because you're not. If anything, I'm the one who's always bugging you.
[The last part is a light tease. Mikleo acts like Sorey can be such a pain in the ass sometimes, but that's just part of how they are. They tease, but when it comes down to it, they're always there for each other.
He tucks a bit of brown hair behind Mikleo's ear, first one and then the other.]
I promised, didn't I?
[He leaves a kiss on the top of his head, unabashedly tender. At this point he just doesn't care what it looks like. He loves Mikleo and he's not ashamed of it.]
I promised.
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Mikleo's silent for a few minutes, just trying to remember how to breathe and waiting for the tears to be done. Finally, he wipes his eyes. He looks up at Sorey, his eyes red and puffy from crying. The brunet tries to look annoyed, but he just looks tired. Sorey's gentle kiss has broken a dam in him and he's just. He's tired of pretending that he doesn't notice, tiptoeing around the issue. He's tired of waiting for Sorey to make the first move.
He's so tired....]
So, I have to cry and bare my soul out to you in order to get you to kiss me?
[The brunet still sounds bad, but his voice is stronger, now.]
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Th... that's not...
[He feels overwhelmingly like he fucked up just now, which... doesn't help anything at all. He tries to smush that feeling down. Unfortunately, it still comes out in a little bit of a stutter.]
I didn't want to make things harder for you, so I-I just--
[Boy oh boy, he wishes he could be the one shrinking under the desk right now.]
Wait-- do you w-want me to...?
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He shifts in his best friend's hold so that he's sitting straighter. The brunet sits on Sorey's lap and his hands firmly grip his broad shoulders. Mikleo looks less tired, now, as he meets emerald eyes. He just looks annoyed and like the spark is coming back to him.]
Do I really need to spell it out more than I already have?
[The answer is yes, but he wants to give Sorey more credit than that.]
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Uh-- m-message received, loud and clear!
[His friend looks annoyed, but at least he doesn't look like he's broken into pieces anymore. This is far more welcome though it intimidates Sorey for an entirely different reason. Part of him wants to cut and run, but he's sort of... stuck in the same house? That's not going to work. And it won't help anything.
Maybe Sorey needs to go and scream into his pillow for a while.
His fingers tremble faintly as he lifts them to Mikleo's face, just as gentle as before, slipping them beneath lovely waves of hair. Nervous as he is, Sorey still finds a smile.]
Sorry for always being late, [he murmurs. He doesn't put it off any more after that. He leans in to accept this ridiculously-timed culmination of years of pining. His heart flutters in his throat as he teases their lips together, soft and hesitant.]
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He almost retorts, but his friend beats him to the punch by kissing him. It's sweet despite its hesitancy, and it makes the butterflies go crazy. Still, Mikleo doesn't let that stop him from wanting to make sure that Sorey knows, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that he does want this. He presses his lips to his friend's a little more firmly. His arms loop loosely around his neck, fingers absently playing with the ends of chestnut brown hair.
After a moment, Mikleo pulls away a little. His eyes flutter open to look at Sorey's face, studying his expression. Doubt creeps into his heart. Maybe he'd chosen the wrong time or he'd overstepped and gone too fast.]
More like I got tired of waiting. [His words are a soft whisper. He sighs, resting his forehead against Sorey's.] But I can wait longer if you're not ready.
[God knows Mikleo isn't ready for certain aspects of their relationship, but they can work up to that. To him, at least, it's worth trying.]
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When Mikleo pulls back, Sorey's still under the influence. His eyelids feel heavy, but his heart is leaping inside his chest. He's sure Mikleo can feel it, if not hear the damn thing.]
Oh... wow.
[He needs to just breathe for a moment.]
N-- no, I'm fine if you are. [He still can't believe this is happening.] Besides, holding you is nice. [He doesn't want to stop. Not that anything needs their immediate attention, but still.]
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I am. [He's never felt more confident than in that. Yet, the brunet glances away as he quietly admits:] I'd...like you to keep holding me, but maybe somewhere more comfortable?
[When Mikleo looks back, it's with a trace of his old dry amusement.]
The floor isn't exactly the best for long periods of time.
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There's the couch or the bed. I think... after the day you've had, a nap might help.
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The couch will be best, I think. I still have to make dinner for us.
[In a small burst of confidence and a need to let Sorey know that it's real and not a dream, he kisses him briefly again. Then, he stands up and offers a hand to his partner-in-crime. A small, soft, grateful smile lifts his lips.]
Just try not to fall asleep with me or we probably won't wake up until tomorrow morning.
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[Sorey is taken quite off guard by the sudden kiss, but he soon recovers his wits and gets up, happy to take Mikleo's hand. He's also happy to not give it back. He's practically glowing as he stands there, lightly swaying their joined hands.]
We can order something. You don't have to make dinner every night.
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Maybe not, but it's relaxing.
[He leads Sorey out of his bedroom and towards the living room. He glances back at the other brunet.]
But...I won't say no to ordering out for tonight, if we can.
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What do you feel like?
[If Mikleo says 'a gallon of ice cream' he will not begrudge him at all.]
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Anything that doesn't require too much effort, to be honest.
[Mikleo might've said more, but he tenses. His eyes go unfocused for a moment as he's hit with a sudden flashback.
They're outside a village, late at night. Sorey seems to be leaving for some reason, but Mikleo approaches him and it startles the brunet. The whole conversation, Mikleo sounds rather flippant and ready to head out to save someone from assassins. Then, Sorey cuts him off, telling him with boundless joy and relief that he's glad that Mikleo's coming with him. He feels embarrassment as he tries to deflect it, retorting with the fact that Sorey is far too naive and trusting to go out into the human world on his own.
The brunet shakes his head, coming out of it. His heart's pounding in his chest. This...this one confirms that Sorey's...past life, he guesses, is spent living with people who aren't human. He, himself, though...he's not human. A 'seraph,' he thinks, but Sorey never mentioned wings. So...maybe not Abrahamic?
Mikleo covers his eyes. This is starting to give him a headache on top of the one he's gotten from crying.]
Sorey. Do you mind getting me some water? I...had another flashback. My third one, I think.
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Mikleo? What's wrong?
[Then he's moving again, and he's fine, except-- another flashback. Sorey gently pries himself away from Mikleo's side so he can get up.]
Y-- yeah! Hold on. [Then he's sprinting into the kitchen to fill up a glass of filtered water. He brings it back in a tall mug so that it's easy to hold. And look, he even has some aspirin.] Here, take a couple of these.
[He settles in beside Mikleo again, and carefully draws his fingers through his friend's hair in a vague attempt at making him feel better.]
... They really are flashbacks, aren't they.
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Yeah...but from a time or place that's both familiar and unfamiliar. It's almost like a past life. If that's the case....
[Mikleo sighs, reaching across his best friend to set the mug on the end table.]
...I don't think I was human. You were, but I was...something else.
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He continues drawing his hands through Mikleo's hair. Even if they hadn't kissed earlier, he probably would be doing it anyway.]
You looked human to me. I mean, aside from the hair... but I liked that a lot.
[He nuzzles into lovely brown waves.]
Wanna tell me about it?
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You were trying to sneak away from what looked like a village at night. I caught you, and basically told you that you weren't leaving without me.
[Sounds like something the two of them would do, honestly. Perhaps that's the scary part.]
And...as I tried to walk away, you stood in front of me and said you were glad I was coming with you.
[The older boy takes Sorey's hand in his, tracing patterns on the top of it. His eyes are focused on their hands.]
'Someone as guileless as you wouldn't last long with humans.' I think that was along the lines of my response.
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You're always teasing me about how gullible I am. It sounds like that really is us.
[It feels so real. But, truth be told, this life feels real too.
He lets Mikleo hold his hand, happy to have that, honestly a little surprised that his friend returned the kiss in the first place. Even after speaking with Minako... Sorey doesn't feel like he deserves anyone at all, let alone someone like Mikleo. He's just... so depressingly uncool, so average... and Mikleo is gorgeous, devoted, talented...
He sighs into those chestnut waves, leaves more soft kisses in their depths like secrets.]
But then... who was in that village? Why were we leaving? If we lived there, it must've been something really important.
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[It's disturbing to think about how real those memories are. Sorey's presence helps him a lot, though. He manages to soothe Mikleo's worries, make them feel more manageable, just by being here and giving gentle affection. It brings a small, soft smile to his face.]
I don't know about that first question, but I do know that we left because...some friend was in trouble. Her life was at risk.
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[It hasn't occurred to him that maybe he doesn't have a mom.]
Huh... I hope we were able to help her, then. [He's not sure how he feels about both of them apparently skipping town to become heroes. Sorey doesn't really think he's capable of that sort of thing. He's a history teacher, not a video game protagonist.]
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That's because you're on the border of good son and mama's boy.
[He's quiet for some time, still tracing patterns on top of Sorey's hand. Eventually, he laces his fingers in between his best friend's, continuing the patterns.]
We're missing too much information. And my biggest question is why are we remembering a life we used to have?
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