it's not that he doesn't care or isn't willing to help me, he drove me back home from the hospital in December, and we still spend time together occasionally
but it feels like he doesn't want anything to do with me, sometimes, or that he has so many internal problems that he doesn't want to add dealing with me to the mix
You've been frustrated for a while, right? I know you don't want to resent your brother, but if this keeps going the way it is, I'm worried your guilt will start eating you up. Um... I also think it's important to say that you might not be causing him trouble at all. Maybe he's protecting you in his own way, and his problems have nothing to do with you personally. He's struggling with powers and memories just like you are.
Have you told him any of this? What he's doing, and how it makes you feel?
in January. I tried talking to him about things, and he told me about some of his problems. How he's scared of letting me down
I told him he wouldn't, of course, so we know how the other feels
it's just...crossing the bridge that's hard right now. He's so complicated. I worry that anything I say might push him away from me further than he is now
There's only so much you can do, Mina. At some point he needs to take responsibility for his own behavior.
I've never had siblings so take my advice with a grain of salt, but... It sounds like closing himself off is all he knows. That's not something that will change overnight. You can't fix everything, and you can't protect him from everything either.
That's probably not what you want to hear. I'm sorry.
Well... you can't. If your issues are too much for you right now, then you're not in a place to help him with his own.
But it's also not your job or your responsibility. I know that you want to help him more than anything, but letting him go helps too. You have to let him come to you.
I'm not saying you should stand by and do nothing, but he needs space to make his own decisions and learn the consequences of the things he does. Even if that means messing things up.
He's just as stubborn as you are, and he's a guy on top of it. He's not gonna come around easy.
If he leaves it's because he chose that. Your actions don't preclude him being his own person.
[It sounds a little like she doesn't trust him not to leave again, so she's subconsciously holding on as hard as she can. But Sorey doesn't want to come right out and say that. No one likes to hear that they're being controlling, and he cares for Minako a great deal.]
I hope that doesn't happen. But if it does? You're stronger than you give yourself credit for.
Anyway, I have a feeling someone will drag him back kicking and screaming.
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it's not that he doesn't care or isn't willing to help me, he drove me back home from the hospital in December, and we still spend time together occasionally
but it feels like he doesn't want anything to do with me, sometimes, or that he has so many internal problems that he doesn't want to add dealing with me to the mix
I don't know. I don't know what to do anymore
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Have you told him any of this? What he's doing, and how it makes you feel?
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I told him he wouldn't, of course, so we know how the other feels
it's just...crossing the bridge that's hard right now. He's so complicated. I worry that anything I say might push him away from me further than he is now
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I've never had siblings so take my advice with a grain of salt, but... It sounds like closing himself off is all he knows. That's not something that will change overnight. You can't fix everything, and you can't protect him from everything either.
That's probably not what you want to hear. I'm sorry.
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other people have said the same
it's just hard to let it go
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But it's also not your job or your responsibility. I know that you want to help him more than anything, but letting him go helps too. You have to let him come to you.
I'm not saying you should stand by and do nothing, but he needs space to make his own decisions and learn the consequences of the things he does. Even if that means messing things up.
He's just as stubborn as you are, and he's a guy on top of it.
He's not gonna come around easy.
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I'll give him space, if you think that will help
I just don't
don't want him to disappear for years on end again
I couldn't bear it a second time
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[It sounds a little like she doesn't trust him not to leave again, so she's subconsciously holding on as hard as she can. But Sorey doesn't want to come right out and say that. No one likes to hear that they're being controlling, and he cares for Minako a great deal.]
I hope that doesn't happen. But if it does? You're stronger than you give yourself credit for.
Anyway, I have a feeling someone will drag him back kicking and screaming.
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he'd give in because he would feel guilty
Sorey, I've gotta go
stay safe, okay?
thank you for talking with me...
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Mina... I'm here okay? You can call me or text me whenever you need to.
Be safe. And take care of yourself.